Friday, November 30, 2007

Cast Of Characters

Let it never be said that I don't listen to the concerns of others. It's come to my attention that not every person on the planet has read as many comics as I have. As a result, many of the jokes in this strip may end up going over the heads of a lot of folks. To remedy that problem, I've decided to add this page as a "who's who." I'll try to add the picture and bio of every new character introduced in the strip, so this post has the potential of getting bigger as time goes on.


LUKE: Strong enough to lift about 25 tons, and his skin is hard enough to deflect bullets. Legend has it that he's dated just about every super-powered woman there is. Fact is, that isn't too far from the truth; but his mistake in cheating on Jennifer caused him to run, err...move from New York to Seattle.

SAM: He has the power to see through the eyes of nearby birds. Seriously. And his costume enables him to fly. So, without the suit, all he's got going for his is the bird-sight thing. Also, he seems to have the uncanny ability to cause problems for Luke.

JENNIFER (JEN): Since having a blood transfusion from her cousin, Bruce, she grew very big, very green, and very, very strong. She's able to lift about 100 tons on a good day. It was not a good day for New Yorkers when she found out that her boyfriend, Luke, was cheating on her. When she learns where Luke moved to, it probably won't be a good day for Seattleites.

FELICIA: She's agile, acrobatic, and a better than average fighter. She also has a poorly defined "probability manipulation" powers that have been rumored to bring bad luck to those around her. A party girl at heart, she's also known for her ability to steal the boyfriend of almost any woman she comes across. Must be the costume...

BRUCE: He's a big green idiot, but I wouldn't tell him that if I were you. He has the mind of a three year old, but the power to crush you into jelly. The strongest being on the planet, the upper limits of his strength can't quite be pinned down, but he's able to lift well over 100 tons under the right conditions. Left to his own devices, he'd like to just sit around playing video games all day.

DANNY: Under normal conditions, he's just as strong as anyone with his build who engages in extreme physical exercise on a regular basis. Couple that with the fact that he's a martial arts master, and he can channel his chi in such a manner that enables him to dent reinforced steel with a punch. He's a former business partner, and close friend, of Luke. Unfortunately, he's been missing for a few weeks.

KARA: She's one of the out-of-towners that Luke met when he moved to Seattle. She's strong -- almost as strong as Jennifer, in fact. And she can fly. Even when she's not flying she's still pretty air-headed. Other parts of her anatomy also seem to be inflated.

LAURA: Kara's fraternal twin sister, she shares all the same powers...and assets. However, where her older sister is kind of dizzy, she is actually quite smart.

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Legal Information: All celebrity voices and likenesses are impersonated. Sure, the comic book characters that appear within this webcomic have their own copyright owners, but the action figures themselves belong to me -- I bought them. So that means that I can pretty much do whatever I want with them, right? It's satire...and Robot Chicken. That said, sign me up for whatever legal protection Seth Green has. Seriously, Marvel and DC, please don't sue me. I've got kids to feed. I've spent (and continue to spend) all kinds of money on your books and action figures. The way I see it, you kind of owe me this one for my years of service to you. Heh. But seriously, please don't sue me.

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